A TEXAN'S GUIDE TO LIFE

Don't squat with your spurs on.

Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgemnet.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.

If you are ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it until a hunter came along and shot him........The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

Never kick a cow ship on a hot day.

There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.

It don't take a genious to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprise if they learn their lesson.

When you are throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

There are three kinds of men: The one that learns by reading. The few that learn by observation. And, the rest of them that have to lean on the electric fence for themselves.